People are always telling me that I've lost weight.  Once upon a time it was true, I lost weight.  However, I've been at a stand off with my scale for the last couple of years.  I don't allow it to get me down.  I don't go into a state of self-hate or loathing when I pick up a pound or two.  I don't feel a sense of accomplishment if it shows I've lost a pound or two either.

Weighing myself isn't a daily thing.  Hell weighing myself isn't even a weekly thing.  When I feel the urge to check where I am at, I hop on the thing.  A couple of months ago I was really proud of myself.  I didn't lose any weight.  However, I was consistantly in the gym.  I felt really good.  I could tell I was getting stronger as time passed by.  The neighbors noticed I was going to the gym several times a week.  This is when I got the, "You are losing weight comments."  I know it's out of kindness, motivation and love.  But the fact is I haven't lost any weight until today. 

Sunday is my favorite day to go to the gym.  I don't have to worry about finding someone to watch the kids.  I don't have a time limt.  I can go anytime during the day.  The best fact is the gym is almost empty.  There is no waiting for a treadmill unlike 5:30am Monday thru Thursday.  After being ill for the past several weeks I made it to the gym today.  It felt so good.  I am lying.  It felt good to go.  Once I got on the treadmill I realized I was out of shape again.  Speeds I could do without strain a month ago were about to fling me off the treadmill.  My interval walk then run routine had me breathing as if I'd just finished a marathon after only 9 minutes.  I was ready to call it quits after 12 minutes.  I did not.  Instead I sucked it up and decided I needed to do at least a mile.  I came to the conclusion that I may need to just walk @ 3.4 and save the running for another time.  I ended up completing 3 miles.  Hooray for me and my big fat @ss. 

I'm happy with myself for pushing through my intial 'call it quits' attitude.  When I got home, I decided to hop on the scale and was surprised to see 184.4! Two weeks down the road if it reads 182.something I'll know I am on a roll. Tuesday I'm going to set the alarm for 5am & hit the gym once again.  I am determined to be back on my gym grind.  I may say goodbye to the 180s yet.  Then again I may not.  What I do know is I am not going to beat myself up lighter or heavier. At the end of the day, the number of miles I completed is what gives me a since of accomplishment.